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Interview with a Couple that are Living a Little Differently - taken from an article that appeared on Ynet
Shimon and Margalit Kopstein have been married for 18 years already. Despite the fact that he copes with severe learning disabilities and she is paralyzed in half of her body, they enjoy a stable and happy relationship, supported by The Nitzan Association. In preparation for the National Fundraising Day, we interviewed them. This is a unique model and breakthrough called "Training in Stages". This program incorporates members of Nitzan in housing with training for one to two years, according to the abilities of the individual. Afterwards, they move on to independent living in satellite housing or treatment housing where they enjoy independence while receiving supervision and guidance. In Haifa, there are 25 apartments in which approximately 50 members of the program live.
15/3/10
Shimon and Margalit Kopstein are old friends from the first community secure housing network in Israel. The secure housing network is intended for adults, 20 years old and older, in order to develop independence, productivity, and integration into society for people with severe learning disabilities, adaptive and functional difficulties, and accompanying illnesses (epilepsy, diabetes, heart diseases, CP, and more).
Twenty-six years ago the Nitzan Haifa branch was established - The Parent's Organization for Self Help, the Community Housing Network with the aid of the Rehabilitation Branch of the Labor and Welfare Ministry, Bituach Leumi (National Insurance), the Housing Ministry, and the Municipality of Haifa.
"Nitzan for us is like our real mother and father"
Shimon (45 years old), who copes with severe learning disabilities, works in Haifa as a warehouse worker for an American Pharmaceutical Company for 13 years already. He lives in the Krayot and is happily married. "I met Margalit through a friend. She had just broken up with her boyfriend, and me from my girlfriend", he tells. "We were on a vacation in Eilat that was sponsored by Nitzan, and we made a click. We're independent people. We do our own shopping, pay bills, I work in the free market, and we make calculations of how much we have and how much we spend. Eight years ago we received with the help of the Nitzan an apartment from the "Shikumna" company, which helps to find housing solutions for people who cannot buy a house.
"Margalit is paralyzed in half of her body", he adds, "and her mother always told her that she'd never get married. She was very surprised when I proposed to her, and was very happy for the both of us. Geula Friedman, the director of Nitzan Haifa, believed in us strongly. She pushed and encouraged us so that we'd be happy."
Nitzan provides their daily needs: financial, medical, pharmaceutical, trips, clubs, electricity, water, medical supervision, house mother visits, and all of the needs that a Nitzan resident needs in order to lead their daily lives. The money that Nitzan members earn at work is available for them and goes straight to their pocket. Nitzan and the Rehabilitation Branch of the Welfare Office fund the managing of their daily lives.
As an experienced married man, do you encourage other couples to get married as well?
"I try to encourage, to push, and to help couples believe that this is possible. I'm approximately 20 years in Nitzan and Margalit, 22 years. You can say that Nitzan is us. Nitzan for us is like our real father and mother. Once or twice a week they send us a housemother to check if we're lacking something, to see if everything's all right. If there's a couple that wants to live together, they help and don't bother them. Nitzan is something special."
What do you like to do together?
"I like working. Sometimes we go on trips. Margalit likes to surf the Internet, to sew, and to read. I never thought she would succeed to do all of these things", he says.
Margalit joins the conversation in a quiet and relaxed voice. "I was born on the Bet HaEmek kibbutz in 1968 with cerebral palsy, CP. When I was only a year old, I already had my first surgery. I had a very difficult childhood. Society rejected me and I went through a number of different schools until I finished at "Regavim" in Kiryat Chaim. I reached Nitzan at 18 years of age through the caregiver of the kibbutz, who heard about the association, and that's how I came to live in the Nitzan housing network."
"Despite the Crises We Experienced, We Respect One Another"
Margalit lived on the kibbutz until she was 19 years old, and according to her "The transition was very difficult. It wasn't easy for me to get used to living in a city with other people, but to be alone. Every weekend, I went to my parents, and I didn't want to come back on Sunday."
The relief began when Margalit got to know other people in similar settings. "I hung out with friends who understood me. Until then, I was only with family, then the change was good, but it took time. I met Shimon after four years."
What About Work?
"I've been through a lot of jobs and rehabilitation centers. About a year ago, I came with the help of Nitzan to the "Shiluvim" organization, an organization for people with special needs, and I work there in recycling. We distribute cans, make ceramic items, they teach us professional photography, and afterwards make from this postcards. In the end, we sell our goods."
" In the beginning, we thought about children", admits Margalit, "but they told us that if we want children, then we'll need to leave the housing network. Our parents also didn't give us much support, because they saw Nitzan as a shelter for us. My parents are already advanced in age and Nitzan is the group that supports us, we came to understand that a family can be without children as well."
You're a Model for Other Couples at Nitzan?
"Many people see us as a loving couple, who respect one another. Despite all of the crises we've experienced, we respect one another, we go to soccer matches, we go out for coffee, bowling, take trips in nature or in the city, friends."
Who Cooks at Home?
"Both me and Shimon. There are things that are difficult for me to do, then Shimon helps me. I know how to cook everything."
And What Does Shimon Like to Eat?
She breaks out in laughter and answers, "Mămăligă."
Hobbies?
"I knit, make goblins, I like to read a lot, I just finished a book "Angels and Demons". " After a short pause she adds, "I know to speak three languages, Hebrew, English, and Spanish. My mother is from England and my father is from Argentina. When I speak with my father, he corrects me, and then I improve."
Tip for Other Couples
"If you love one another and support one another, then it doesn't matter if there's a problem. The main thing is there's togetherness and love, like they say, love conquers all." |
